"wondering"

ok!! so, blogger is finally freakin' working again.

'bout damn time!!


i feel very much in-between these days... not belonging completely in one group, but i guess i have changed too much to relate to my old group. so, i'm just kind of... here.

had an episode last week, that was entertaining. gotta love being bi-polar... at least i have things more or less under control these days, which is a vast improvement from, well, the entire first 27 years of my life. and with the birthday just around the corner... blaaaaaaaaah. i acutally don't care so much about getting older, as much as i care about this feeling of time slipping away from me. as if i'm all of the sudden going down a steep hill... it's just getting faster and faster.

i've been thinking a lot lately about how things might be in the future. some times i stop to question whether or not i know what i'm doing, here... how it might really be, living abroad for a couple of years. and whether or not i can really pay my bills, that's a big one.
but other than those random doubts... life is moving along at a good pace. seems i might finally be getting over this person i thought was the pinnacle of what i could feel for another human. maybe it's not so much getting over him, as it is really taking note of the possibilities around me. either or, it's good just to be going forward.

this was definitely the highlight of last week for me:


my ass bought a venus flytrap. awesome. i have already fed it 2 spiders and 2 ants. i feel a mild sense of guilt over the ants, but definitely not the spiders. blech, i hate spiders... they just creep me out.